Just plodding along, doing my best and making the best of the situation I am living. Lets face it, those of us with any form of arthritis and/or fibromyalgia have to keep going, it's what we do to survive the day.....and the night.
We got through the festive period in a blur of wrapping paper roast dinners, cakes and leftovers. Fatigue, pain and medication adding the fog which I move in. People comment about having family arguments over holiday periods and we have never experienced this until this Christmas. We decided that we didn't appreciate being continually lied to and ignored that we have now eliminated all negativity from out lives which unfortunately means we have walked away from some family members and other family members, have stuck their noses in where it wasn't wanted, only listened to one side of a story and not wanted to listen and walked away. It is like any chronic illness, people don't listen, don't understand, think they know it all or have the magic cure and can't be bothered to actually find the truth out. I have to say we are SO much more relaxed and happier now that we don't have the stress and negativity from these people around us. Having support and love is what is needed when you are fighting these challenges and illnesses.
I have taken the step to go back to work on a more full time basis...in the office rather than working from home as I would like to hold on to my career for as long as possible. I thought I would be fine, oh how wrong was I?! Travelling into The City 4 days a week in a taxi poses it's problems. You may say "lucky you! cushy number" but really...joints seize up, pain shoots through hips and back. Travelling by car is not as "cushy" as it may sound. Some cars are lower than others. You would chuckle to yourself if you saw me rolling out of the low Toyota the other day. It really was something that was worthy of You've Been Framed only I didn't get my £250 and had to work 8 hours in the office before the hour and half journey home in said car again!
I think I am doing ok in the office, I'm on the decaf coffee and ploughing through my work load nicely when Mr Fatigue decides to hit me head on like a Route Master Bus. I have a meeting to attend trying desperately to keep my eyes open and praying to any deity that might be in the vicinity that no-one notices my eyelids falling like lead weights and my head bobbing like apples in water. Needless to say it was noticed by the chair of the meeting who very graciously said that said meeting wasn't exactly riveting......oooo eck!
My hearing has been going down hill for a number of years, it's something that has gradually crept up on me. We started noticing that the TV was being turned up louder and my common response to people who were talking to me was "Eh?" and "Pardon?" I haven't liked talking on the phone for a long time now as I couldn't quite make out what the person on the end of the line was saying. This is not good when you have a large number of telephone conferences as part of your work. So! I am referred to the ENT consultant at the local hospital and guess what....yes I failed the hearing test :-(
It's a surreal place, the ENT and audiology department. When people speak to you they speak clearly and look at you. I'm amazed! I had 3 different tests and felt like a patient in an old Victorian hospital going for electric shock treatment with the headphones and probey thingies on my head. The outcome of all these tests where sounds of varying frequencies and volumes are sounded into my lug 'oles and through the bones behind my ears is that I have 40% hearing loss in my right ear and 30% hearing loss in my left ear. I am slowly going deaf. Permanent sensorial hearing loss. I am now waiting for an appointment with audiology to have moulds taken so I can be fitted with hearing aids. Im hoping I can have purple hearing aids. SO we can now add Deaf to the conditions after my name.
February seems to be hospital appointment month. 31st Jan (yes I know I said Feb but it's practically Feb) I had my pre-op assessment for my left knee to be partially replaced. Still no date for it but with a bit of luck it will be by 25th April as this is when the MRSA swabs and pre-op run out. 6th Feb was hearing assessment (Big Fat Fail!) 13th Feb, apart from being my Grandpa's birthday, is eyes check up at Moorfields and 19th Feb is Rheumatology at a different hospital. I should get my EMG test results back...now that's an interesting test those EMG's! Electric currents passed through your nerves to check if they are working properly...sending tingling sensations through your limbs and extremities before intensifying and making them twitch and jump. Bizarre! It is still unknown whether I have MS or not but this, apparently, is to be discussed at the appointment on 19th. I may need an MRI of my brain and spine but I have a number of symptoms, although they could also be fibro symptoms
I've bought boots! ....you may think this is a completely random statement but....with the tingling in my feet and legs I keep tripping over my feet boots help support my feet and my ankles. It is really quite embarrassing.....and painful when I fall.
This week has had some positives in it. I have been interviewed by a journalist on the behalf of Arthritis Research UK to discuss the impact of chronic illness on relationships. It was a good experience and I look forward to reading the finished article. You all know that I have an awesome hubby who helps me in all aspects of everyday life but some people are not so lucky to have the support I have and struggle more than they let anyone know.
Half term is round the corner and I have the whole week off work as annual leave WOOHOO! I am looking forward to it but it will throw some challenges and obstacles in the way as we embark on some day trips as a family....more to come on that! I will let you know the next adventures of the Ferrari and Arthur Ritis!
On that note I will let you all go and enjoy the remains of your weekend.
Stay Safe and Pain free
xxxx
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