Getting a Grip!

Its been a strange couple of days as far as figuring out how I feel about everything! Tuesday I was told I had been approved for a Blue Badge which is going make things easier for me when we are out and about. Wendesday I recieved notification that I had been successful with my application for DLA (Disability Living Allowance) Im really not sure how I feel about it all.....it certainly isn't elation. It's a bit of a double edged sword. I have finally got recognition that I have a disability but I would give it all up for a working and healthy body.

Last night was a BAD night. Kness, hips and pelvis are extremely painful, I couldn't get comfy, couldn't get to sleep and was reduced to tears. Paul was wonderful as ever. Getting me some painkillers and holding me gently. The morning isn't much better so I have made an appointment with the GP. A recent ultra sound scan showed my pelvis had a lot of fluid in it and I want to discuss this and my pain management.

I am sure there are many people going through the same experiences but not everyone seems able to talk about having a disease which is seen as an old persons disease.

I mentioned in a previous post that the kids had some friends round and had created some yummy cakes! here is some pictures of the fun that was had and the creations made.

My kids keep me going and watching them have fun made my day!

 

I've mentioned before about having snazzy sticks here is a picture of my most recent pair

Its not a great picture but there are a number of websites that sell coloured or patterned walking sticks and crutches. My way of thinking is if you need to use a walking aid you may as well have nice looking set! I have the same pair but in blue and I was sitting on the tube a few months ago when a random bloke came up to me and pointing at my sticks said "What are they?" to which I replied quite shortly "What do they look like?" I wasn't expecting the following answer...."Ski Poles" I didn't know what to say other than "Should have gone to Specsavers Mate!!" The man was wearing an NHS hospital pass so I was confused as to why he thought they looked liked ski poles. He has no idea how much I would actually like to be able to go ski-ing!

A friend sent me a message asking if she could borrow my London Marathon Medal to show to her group of Rainbows next week. Of course I said yes but it also got me thinking about how my arthritis has deteriorated over the past year. This time last year I was getting ready to take part in the London Marathon for the charity Sense. I knew I had a problem and the physio had been advising me. The course was tough...26.2 miles is a long way! I hurt but I finished it. It was a great achievement and I will always remember the atmostphere, the support from friends and family and the public on the day. The cheering really keeps you going. To cross the finishing line was amazing! I am sad that I won't be able to run or power walk again. Riding a bike is painful too. I enjoyed taking part in events and raising money for charities. I look back and I am glad I managed those achievements.

This is me last year....

Unfortunatley I can only walk now with 2 elbow crutches and we are considering asking about a wheelchair for when we are out and about as moving about is a slow and very painful process.

When I was active I could keep my weight down, now I struggle to keep my weight stable. I've put on a stone in weight but I shouldn't complain too much. There are people in a worse situation than myself and I do have a wonderful family and circle of friends around me.

Time to start setting my small goals. Today's will be to help Paul prepare dinner...spaghetti bolognese!