The Day They Say Maybe......

Just over 6 weeks post op from my latest arthroscopy and I had a follow up appointment with the consultant. Well I thought I was going to see the consultant but I was sent an appointment at the polyclinic where I saw a very young looking registrar.

The Registrar read through my notes explaining that the main stage 3 arthritis is on my femur in both knees. There are areas of the knee which are stage 1 and stage 2 but predominantly it is stage 3 on the femur and patella. I was surprised to be told I had also received a steroid injection both knees while in surgery. The reason I was surprised is I have felt worse since the surgery and surely with a steroid injection I would have been feeling some sort of benefit.

Myself and my husband put across our concerns and explained how OA was impacting our lives. It's not just my life that it has affected it is also affecting my husbands life and that of our 3 children. I am pleased to say that the young registrar sat and listened to us, which is something that hasn't really happened before. Experience of the hospital is that we are fobbed off, spoken over and dismissed because I don't fit into the neat little boxes or text book definition that they go by.

The out come of our longer than average appointment is that the registrar is unable to make the decision to replace my knees. He admits that it is what I need and if I was older than it wouldn't be an issue and I would be put on the waiting list to have a bilateral total knee replacement. The rather young registrar (I must be getting old!!!) dictated a letter while we were sitting there explaining the situation and that we need to be seen by consultant himself at the next available clinic as it would have to be the consultant who will have to make the decision whether to replace my knees or not. If he says no, then he will refer me to a different hospital and consultant for a second opinion. The registrar explained that he may well be able to recommend a surgeon that might perform the surgery. If we got for a second opinion I am hoping to go to The Royal Orthopaedic Hospital at Stanmore, or UCL, or The Royal London.

Please don't think I am going into this blindly. I am very much aware that replacement joints have a lifespan of 10-15 years and the revision surgery can be more complicated. My mother in law has had her knee replacement for 15 years and it is still going strong with no problems. My father in law had a hip replaced for 22 years before he needed revision surgery. I need my life now, so I can enjoy my kids.Go out as a family. Be able to hold my kids hands while they still want to hold hands and hold my hubby's hand when we go out. At the moment I can't do that because I walk with crutches.

The baby faced registrar has referred me for a wheelchair assessment as getting out and about outdoors is getting increasingly difficult. I think there is a waiting list of several weeks so I will keep you posted on progress as I find out myself.

This week has seen me do a full week in my new job. Meet the team and get stuck in with my new role in Risk. It's great! The team have made me feel very welcome. The all know about my arthritis and are so helpful. I had a DSE assessment for my work station. I work on a laptop and my new boss got me a monitor and keyboard to plug in which helps with posture as the screen is adjustable in height. I am having a workplace adjustment assessment on Tuesday to check my chair and desk.

Travelling into London has been a bit of a mixed bag and I am relying heavily on painkillers to get me through the journey.

Saturday! Paul has been out with his friends today for a bit of R&R. Harry Monster had a birthday party in Romford at the bowling alley so it was me who had to get Harry and the twins ready and into town. I woke up feeling positive that I could do this....any mother should be able to do this. One the whole and all things considering it didn't go too badly but I did struggle. Unable to walk at the pace the kids were walking at we only just managed to get there on time. I was getting increasingly frustrated with myself as the morning went on which the kids unfortunately picked up on. While Harry was at his party myself and the twins get a table in McDonald's and they had a happy meal. Not the greatest culinary delight but a treat for them nonetheless.

I'd managed to put a load of washing in the machine. I thought I would be able to get it on line to dry with it being a glorious day....I think the first this year! I am so lucky to have helpful children to assist me unloading, sorting and folding as I wouldn't have managed it.

Being on my own today with the kids has made me realise just how much I rely on Paul. I feel guilty for the amount of help he needs to give me on a daily basis. We should be enjoying married and family life. I love him to the moon and back, just hope he realises. My worry is he will come to resent me over time.

This time last year I was excited about taking part in the London Marathon, the the London and Edinburgh Moonwalks. I can't believe how much things have changed. I can't walk a metre without sticks let along 26.2 miles. Here is a pick of my medals for my achievements last year!

Anyway, enough of being down! The kids want toad in the hole for dinner tonight. I'm going to ge them to make the Yorkshire pudding batter....it could be messy!!! :-)